Grandpa
used to live in the basement. He moved in shortly after dad left home, saying
that it was important to have a man in the house. “A real man,” he had said. Mom’s
version of the story was different. She told me (many years later) that she
invited grandpa to live with us because he had been in a crippling depression
since grandma died of lung cancer the year before. I also gathered that he was
only an average father to mom; he wasn’t abusive, physically or otherwise, but
distant, mercurial and far too wounded to be a stable figure in her life. As a
grandfather, however, he was eminently sufficient, a bit too curt and volatile,
but a font of swear words, magic tricks, inappropriate war stories, and
off-color jokes, everything that an adolescent boy craves in an old geezer. He
was also a drunk, whose pervasive bourbon and nicotine aroma was only partially
eclipsed by the Brill Cream in his hair and the Aqua Velva he splashed onto his
face throughout the day. He always wore a suit jacket, tie and fedora, even
when he didn’t leave his basement bedroom all day long and I don’t recall ever
seeing him without a cigarette dangling off his lips. He often lit his next
cigarette with the one in his mouth and this left him with a permanent droop in
his lower lip so that when he talked, words dribbled out his mouth like water
out of the dented rim of a bucket. This created the illusion that, whenever he
was talking to me, he was confiding in a fellow conspirator, which made me feel
older than my years.
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